the Buffalo Sabres: what they mean to western new york.

to be short, they mean everything. and they mean everything for so many reasons.

let's take a look back a few years ago, before the president's trophy, before ryan miller was a household name. the team was a mirror image of the city it represented. they were on the verge of bankruptcy, future was in doubt, owner was corrupt. things were grim. but there were some steadfast honest men. lindy ruff still stood in the back of the bench with his suite and tie, much like the arena stood on the outskirts of a city that was looking grim.

but something magical happens in this city when the team is winning.

you walk down elmwood avenue on a sunny spring day and you're no longer reminded of the poor, grim spiral the city of buffalo has fallen into. you forget all about the crooked politicians, the lack of jobs, and the ugly areas of town. but you see smiling faces, blue and gold everywhere, flags flying from cars that are honking their horns in that familiar quarter note quarter note triplet pattern. "lets go buff-a-lo"

this city is blue collar to it's core and how can one not admire that? we've had a football team that hasn't made the playoffs in a decade but yet we still make sure they sell out every game almost every year. neither the sabres nor the bills have ever won a championship in the current professional leagues. but nobody thinks about that this time of year. they wear the colors, grow their playoff beards (even though some people's, like my own, are not coming in well at all), drink their beers, and cheer for the buffalo sabres.

they stand outside the arena, packed in front of a big screen tv, rain or shine, and cheer as loud as they can. half the people don't even have a full look at the screen, but something as small as coming back from a commercial makes them all erupt in noise. that's something special. the moral of this city, a city that's been beaten down for years with shrinking job markets, highest gas prices in the nation, and has endured so much, is lifted every time that puck is dropped. every goal the blue and gold score. every time ryan miller stands on his head to make an immaculate save. every time someone sees a fellow sabres fan.

who knows what will happen down the line. there's a lot of hockey left to be played if this team is going to go all the way. and after a disappointing game 2 against boston, one can only hope. i for one want to see these spirits be lifted to their fullest potential. if the sabres can do what they need to do, it could do so much for this city. bring some respect and some positive emotion into an area that so desperately needs it.

so, heres to the sabres. this town needs you guys, and we love you like family. come on boys.

White Crosses -- Against Me!

i would love to hear what warren oakes true honest heart-felt opinion of this record is.

i wanted to like this album. i wanted to like this album SO badly. everyone counted this band out. new wave was it, the band sold out, they sucked, they were worthless now. no. i constantly told everyone they were wrong. yes, new wave was overly polished, but it wasn't bad. just all of you wait. they still got it. tom gabel plays a show on the 4th of july, 2008. holy fuck, these songs are awesome. hell, i read someone say "these are the best sense the 'cowboy' and 'disco' days"....i agreed.

i shoulda known when "heart burns" came out. this band was toast. the songs i loved, the songs i got kicked out of a local club for playing (anna is a stool pigeon is apparently too political for a festival dubbed "infringement"), were just too good to be true. we need drum machines, we need over-production, we need to fuck these great songs up. bottom of the line, great songs turned out awful on record. but my hopes weren't given up. there were strokes of genius. "cowards sing at night" sounded great, as did a few of the others. and the tour tom went on, man the sets were brilliant. he was playing what the fans wanted, he was tom from against me! again, not tom gabel. he was who i grew to love.

i should have known it was too good to be true.

fast forward from 2008 to 2009. i'm still defending this band, hell, they're playing house parties and tiny-ass club/basement shows again. baby, i'm an anarchist! they go on tour with CHEAP ticket prices. new songs appear on youtube and in bootlegs. fuck! they sound great. hell, there's this song tentatively titled "hot shots" with a fiddle and it might be the most bad ass thing i've ever heard. there's a few cheesy songs, especially one about suffocation in the modern western world, but there's enough heart and spirit in the performance that i can get past it. hell, against me! is back and proving everybody wrong!!!!!
oh wait.
tom gabel's blog shows up, saying he wants warren out of the band. warren leaves, does the thing i would forever expect someone as class-act as warren to do, and says he appreciates everything he had. again, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!

so now white crosses is available to hear. it's out there. it is what it is. and it is everything i SHOULD have expected but nothing that i DID expect.

where's hot shots?! where's the heart those bootlegs had? it's overproduced, it's glossy, and honestly, i don't know where the heart went from the band that i considered to be the most genuine in music.

White Crosses (3/5) -- my opinion of this song has not changed sense i heard it on record for the first time. the hook is awful, the lyrics are cheesy and the musicianship is that of a very piss-poor pop-rock band. this bad pop-rock is a trend that unfortunately will carry throughout the album. apparently, this is the "new sound?"

I Was A Teenage Anarchist (3.5/5) -- i had heard this song in the bootlegs pre-album leak. i didn't mind it. i never truly held a grudge on the band for not being so die-hard anarchist. tom became very liberal, which i didn't agree with, because political parties are the downfall of this country, but everyone grows. the band was young when they were so die-hard, and i looked at this song as a "yeah, i know where i came from" song. on record, it isn't that. it's uninspired "piss off old-time fans" music. it isn't there. it shuns the old fans and wreaks "i've lost my muse"

Because of the Shame (3.5/5) -- now i need to say i spent a lot of time letting this record sit. it leaked a couple weeks ago, and i even took the time to sit down and listen front-to-back while reading tom's lyrics he posted. this song is one of the few genuine tracks you'll find on the record. obviously about someone he used to care about, this song is one of regret and memory. it is what it is, it isn't a great song, but is better than much of the album just because it carries legit feelings.

Suffocation (3.75/5) -- i spoke of this song above. i never truly loved it, but it sounded solid on the bootlegs, it was very inspired sounding. this is a perfect example of over-production should not be part of against me!. this song is weak as fuck on record, and the "ugh" after the first "suffocation" in the chorus is legitimately laughable. but, one saving grace for this song is the continuation of a story tom penned many years ago. it seems very likely that this song is a continuation of the gay couple from "disco before the breakdown" (the song), "searching for a former clarity" (the song), and "the ocean." in that context, it gives the song a little bit more depth.

We're Breaking Up (2.5/5) -- tom gabel is now happily married. he talks about it in his blog all the time. who is this song about? warren? i hope not, warren was way more bad ass for a song that sounds like a piss-poor simple plan song. this song wreaks "i want to be a popular pop-rock band, but don't know how to do it." this song is hard for me to even get through.

High Pressure Low (3/5) -- after i get past the opening riff, which sounds like one i wrote after playing guitar for a couple months, when i was trying to write my first songs, it KIND OF comes together. if you read the lyrics, it tries to inspire and it tries to stand for political opposition and criticism, but again, the over-production just sucks the life out of the song....and that main riff is so piss-poor.

Ache With Me (4.5/5) -- one of the few high points of the record. new wave was a decent record, even though many shun it from existence. but one thing it lacked was acoustics, something every other against me! release had. this song is seriously solid. it could never fit in with the first few records, but who's asking it to? bands grow. this is a progression i could have been okay with. unfortunately it's only one song, and it's one of the few that sounds genuine. decent song. decent song.

Spanish Moss (3.5/5) -- this song is one that doesn't honestly make me feel one way or the other. it was originally a 4, but after listening to it, the bridge sounds very forced. this song could be filler on a good album, but on a medio-core album, this song is one that is very listenable.

Rapid Decompression (4/5) -- i suppose this song is the "single." and i suppose it's a good idea on behalf of tom and what's left of the boys. it's pretty close to the new wave sound, and has more aggression than most of the album combined. it isn't a bad song, it's pretty decent, but some of the background vocals are very forced and are just way too much to handle. it really is one of the best on the album though, and that isn't just because it sounds more like against me! than the rest of the album.

Bamboo Bones (4.5/5) -- at first listen this song would have been just another piece of shit on the album to me, but after giving the album 2 weeks, this song is far and away the best song on the record. it has heart, it has a good riff, it actually has decent lyrics and a decent message. this song is the perfect closer on the album much like the ocean was the perfect closer on new wave. unfortunately, white crosses isn't up to par with new wave, and bamboo bones isn't up to par with the ocean....but this song is really good. this is the only song i ever see myself wanting to listen to after i listen to the entire album.


IN CONCLUSION (3.25/5)
i wanted so bad to like this album, but it suffers so bad from a change of style that does not fit this band. this band has effectively shunned it's old fans and has tried to build a new image for itself. and this image doesn't work. against me! was never a pop-rock band, hell, it wasn't even a pop-punk band. i heard someone say in an interview with tom on a canadian rock station (102.1, the edge) that thanks to against me!, punk rock is alive and well. maybe 5 years ago, but at this point, against me! is the poster-child for punk rock being something that is no longer relevant. and it hurts me to say it because i used to think this band had more heart than any band making music. the old tom gabel, even from the searching for a former clarity days, would beat the piss out of this tom gabel.

life, karma, and the death of pessimism

when conan o'brien went off the air, i really took his final remarks to heart. yeah, it may sound stupid, but the guy got choked up and what he said really effected me.

"nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. but if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. i'm telling you....amazing things will happen."

now i've taken this and i've tried to apply it to my own life but for the longest time i would doubt it. i've always been a pessimist, and when i would see the worst people in the world just constantly succeed, i would doubt conan's thoughts on the issue. but maybe he's right. and the idea of "karma" didn't just come out of thin air. it came from somewhere. so, while trying to maintain my positivity, i widened view of the world. the scumbags get theirs. look at all the political scandals right now. congressman massa is only the latest of a slue of scumbag politicians finally getting what was coming to them. elliot spitzer, rod blagojevich, governor patterson, the list goes on. tiger woods, another example. these people weren't kind people, they were terrible people. with the exception of tiger woods, odds are the others lied and cheated their way to the top, and now they are getting what they deserved.

karma is a legitimate thing and i'm believing in it more and more the more i look for it. another example, my current place of employment. i've vowed to make it the last corporation i ever work for. the home depot, i suppose it's high-end retail. but regardless, there are a lot of great people who work there as normal associates. many are kids like me, many have other jobs, many are retired. a lot of the managers....lazy, incompetent, and unintentionally unsympathetic. these people's lot in life as an assistant manager of a retail store is proof of what conan o'brien said. they didn't work hard, they weren't kind, they were lazy, and they got what they worked for.

now i looked to see how far i could apply this, and i've been meaning to write something about my great grandma who's been battling cancer for over a year, and maybe this is the time to do it. but a curve ball was thrown my way last week when my aunt died unexpectedly. i instantly thought this had something to do with all this. she was young, i believe 39. she was over-weight, she wasn't the nicest person to be around, and she seemed to have ruined my uncle and detached him from the family. we never saw them, not even on christmas. once, maybe twice a year tops, and they only lived 10 minutes away. it's sad, it really is. and maybe karma did have something to do with it, but i can't speak ill on her, because it isn't fair that she left behind a husband who truly loved her and two kids who were still in high school. that's way too young to lose a parent, regardless of the circumstances. i went into the funeral unemotional but felt being there was the right thing to do, but seeing that family cry their eyes out at the church was tough for me to watch. i tried to talk to the younger boy, but seeing i don't know him at all, it was tough. but, to tie a running theme, all i told him was to stay positive, be a good person, and life will get better. of course, easier said than done. i know from experience.

now back to my great-grandmother. she was diagnosed a while back, and at one point she was in the ER. she wasn't supposed to make it out of last year. she wasn't supposed to make it through summer. a month ago i went and visited her and the news i was hearing made me feel it would be the last time i ever see her. what do you say to someone when it might be the last time you see them? well, according to her, "i guess no one can live forever." it's hard to have that kind of an optimistic sense of humor in her situation. but with her memory fading and her motor skills suffering, she still is one of the most kind people i've ever met. and i think that's why she's exceed so many of the doctors timetables. it's pretty crazy.

so it's time to bury my pessimism 6 feet down. at least most of it. i think it'll always be impossible to get rid of it completely. but optimism is working out, i like being happy. you can't ignore the bad things in the world, you need to still address them or nothing will get done, but there's a lot in life you can change by having a better outlook. karma is something that can be a good motivator. i am nowhere near the best person i know. i feel i have all the potential to be if i wanted to. and i definitely get mine when i deserve it for being a bad person, and i think everyone will sooner or later (i'm looking at my father on this one, just hopefully it won't be too serious, just enough that he realizes his own personality flaws).

so here's to life. lets all try and go out of our way once in a while to be there for people. i mean, the other day i bought the guy asking for change outside wilson farms a bag of chips (unfortunately he was gone by the time i came back out). but hey! it's the thought that counts.


currently listening: brad paisley, noah and the whale, new alk3

coming soon: against me! -- white crosses. a review in the style of the one i did for daisy

love.

first of all. this is not a review of tom delonge's latest musical bowel movement.

it's hard to pin down what exactly love is. i've been listening to this band "noah and the whale" a lot lately, and it's pretty much the topic of their discography. one album, the up-side of love, and the other, the down-side of love. now i'll probably reference this band a lot throughout this piece of literature because they have really had a profound effect on my life. the first time i heard them came at the perfect time for me, and their first album (second that i heard) really hits me where i am now.

i've heard a lot about love. i've heard that your first love is second only to your "true love" and that love is something that comes and goes. i've also heard that love is only true when it's unconditional and shared by both parties. fuck all of that.

from what i've discovered, true love is something that will never ever go away; no matter how upset you are with someone, no matter how much you hate how they are acting, how they are treating you, or how resentful you are. if you experienced the feeling of true love it will never ever ever ever ever go away.

i'll share an example that doesn't so much involve myself. i've spoken before in my various writings about my parents and their seemingly lack of love for one another. my entire life they have hated each other, they have argued with each other through me, they have despised each other and done whatever they could to "stick it" to the other.

but.

i am a firm believer, no matter what anyone says, that a drunken state of emotion can be one of the most honest any human being may ever share. alcohol may have been the undoing of my parents because my mom doesn't drink and my dad has two distinct sides to him when he does. he is either very loving or very resentful and very angry. one night this past summer, talking financial woes, my father told me that he hates his relationship with my mom but no matter what transpired he still loves her deep down and thinks he always will. true love.

no matter what transpires and what terrible emotions that one feels towards someone, if they truly loved that someone they will forever. now that's not to say that one can only love once. i don't know if that's true, and i hope to God at this point that it isn't. i would like to experience true love again, this time one that is unconditionally shared. it's hard to love when it is conditional coming from the other direction.

now that's not to say there wasn't love with me, i believe there truly was, and will till the day i die. i have so many memories that creep up that remind me there was. but over the past month or so i've been bitter at these memories. i've shunned them and said they were all bullshit and that it was two different people. now it may have been different sides of two people, but i don't want to shun those feelings, cause they were real when they happened, and nothing can ever take those away.

i feel charlie fink didn't mean it when he said "i don't think that i ever loved you" on the final track of "first days of spring." no, i feel he was bitter when he wrote and sung that line. he's over the situation and wants to put a period on it. but he was wrong in the way he did. he shouldn't have pretended the "love love love" he sang about on "5 years time" was fake. it clearly wasn't. and every time i hear the title track of "first days of spring" i kinda choke up a bit at the chorus. "for i'm still here hoping that one day you may come back." it's tough. because it's hard to find the balance.

i no longer dwell on what i guess would be my "first love" and i've been very resentful of it as of late, and when i hear that line, i believe it and i relate to it. but i don't really believe that i want that person back. no instead i believe i long for the feelings in the memories i cherish.

now one problem with love ending is the way it goes about. often times people only focus on the negative, the bad side of things. and that will leave a stale taste in one's mouth. don't. i can't think of anything worse than when asked "do you ever miss me?" the response is "no." it's done out of bitterness and anger, and it's unnecessary. don't deny something that at a point in life was something that honestly made you happy.

true love is something that will never ever go away, and focusing only on the negative is foolish. great memories and great feelings shouldn't be ignored, but they should be recognized as what they are. memories. they aren't the present day.

i feel i will always love what i felt and i'm not going to pretend it's not true, but i'm over it. i recognize it for what it is. a great feeling i will always share--but it's not real life anymore.

true love is an incredible thing and hopefully one day everyone, myself included, will be able to experience unconditional, shared feelings with someone.

life is pretty great.

currently listening to:
noah and the whale.peaceful the world lays me down

2009: the musical year in review

Forward
This was the best musical year of my life. Literally every single band I’ve ever truly loved throughout my life came out with new music this year. And most didn’t disappoint. I attended some great shows, I released my first ep as “next week’s weather” (download at
http://www.mediafire.com/?2y5wwgnwmtm), and I heard some spectacular music. Besides new releases, I dove into the back catalog of some new and old favorites and discovered some great stuff. But this is a place for new music right now, and all the new stuff I experienced this year.

Shows
-ron white -- ub center for the arts
-lewis black -- shea’s
-brand new/rise against -- ub spring fest
-manchester orchestra -- rochester water street
-the bouncing souls -- town ballroom
-kevin devine and the god damn band -- mohawk place
-warped tour -- cleveland
-brand new/robbers -- grog shop cleveland
-rancid/rise against -- erie county fair agre center
-blink 182 -- darien lake
-weezer/blink 182 -- toronto molson amphitheatre
-akron/family/jeffrey lewis and the junkyard -- mohawk place
-the mad caddies -- extreme wheels
-big d and the kids table -- town ballroom
-brand new -- kool haus day 1
-brand new -- rochester dome arena

Shows I Regret Missing
-brad paisley -- darien lake
-brian regan -- ub center for the arts
-bruce springsteen and the e street band -- hsbc arena
-the get up kids featuring kevin devine -- town ballroom
-green day -- Hamilton
-weezer -- toronto acc
-the rest of warped (nofx in particular)



Albums
-against me! -- the original cowboy
-akron/family -- set ‘em wild, set ‘em free
-and you will know us by the trail of dead -- century of self
-animal collective -- merriweather post pavilion
-big d and the kids table -- fluent in stroll
-the bouncing souls -- 20th anniversary 7”s
-brad paisley -- american Saturday night
-brand new -- daisy
- foo fighters -- greatest hits
-green day -- 21st century breakdown
-jeffrey lewis -- city and eastern TAPES
-kevin devine -- brothers blood
-kevin devine -- I could be with anyone ep
-manchester orchestra -- mean everything to nothing
-manchester orchestra -- 14 years of excellence ep
-noah and the whale -- the first days of spring
-nofx -- coaster
-rancid -- let the dominoes fall
-robbers -- flesh ep
-them crooked vultures -- them crooked vultures
-weezer -- raditude


A “top 10” of the Year

10. Against me! -- the original cowboy
9. …and you will know us by the trail of dead -- century of self
8. Noah and the whale -- the first days of spring
7. Akron/family -- set ‘em wild, set ‘em free
6. Green day -- 21st century breakdown
5. Kevin devine -- brothers blood
4. Brand new -- daisy
3. Weezer -- raditude
2. Manchester orchestra -- mean everything to nothing
1. Big d and the kids table -- fluent in stroll


10. Against me! -- the original cowboy
The original recordings of my favorite punk record of all time. How I could not love it was beyond me. Didn’t touch the first release, but still a great collection of songs….I mean…. a great ALBUM.

9. …and you will know us by the trail of dead -- century of self
Everyone loves source tags and codes. I love worlds apart. This record fits in the middle for me. Its trail of dead, they have such a great thick sound and I love it. Their albums are excellent as whole concepts. Unfortunately, this is a live-recorded album, and instead of adding energy, it takes away some of the thick layered sound worlds apart has.

8. Noah and the whale -- the first days of spring
Wow. This album was sent my way from an old high school friend late in the year (early December) when I was going through some rough shit. This album was an absolute soundtrack to my life at the time, completely fitting my mood both lyrically and musically. It’s a beautiful listen. Absolutely excellent.

7. Akron/family -- set ‘em wild, set ‘em free
These guys are truly magical. What they do on record is amazing. And this record is no exception. My second favorite of theirs, held only behind their self titled. The mood and energy is unlike any other. Unfortunately memories have made me not want to listen to this album as much as I should cause it really is an underrated release of the year.

6. Green day -- 21st century breakdown
Psshhhh where to start…. People loved american idiot. I loved american idiot. Now I hate american idiot. But I love 21st century breakdown. The sound is very thick and rich, and I love that. This album may be the most underrated record of the year just because it didn’t explode like it should have. The story is stronger than that of american idiot, the message is more intelligent, and it’s as relevant as ever. Great great underrated record and I don’t care what anybody else says.

5. Kevin devine -- brothers blood
His most “whole” album to date. I don’t listen to it a lot, but I started loving a few tracks, and then loved a few more and a few more and now every time I listen to it I like it more as a whole. A lot of great songs. Some need to grow on you, but it’s some of his best work. Not his BEST, but damn close. (I could be with anyone ep was a collection of b-sides/demos/etc and it was unfortunately forgettable)

4. Brand new -- daisy
I’ve said everything I think I can say about this record. I was expecting so much and it JUST BARELY missed. Lyrics are weak and theres some serious sloppy production, but this is comparing it to the devil and god are raging inside me, which is the best record ever created (no, I’m not joking). The album is good, just not as great as their other stuff.

3. Weezer -- raditude
Another incredibly underrated release. This record holds some of weezer’s worst songs from their career, but it also holds a return to them writing good music. Make believe sucked, lets face it. And the red album was an attempt at experimentation that didn’t quiet pay off. Rivers wants to be a pop star, and if you’ve figured that out, you can really enjoy this record. Some of the best stuff they’ve done in years is on this album, as well as some of the catchiest.

2. Manchester orchestra -- mean everything to nothing
I’ve said it a couple times already but great thick sound to this album. They were going for the pinkerton sound and it definitely paid off on some tracks. The first half of this album is genius and the only problem is the 2nd half of the album gets a little muddy and indistinguishable. But this was the best follow-up their first effort could ask for. A really great record and a good listen. (“14 years of excellence” is the slower side of the band’s sessions and it’s a good listen as well, a good companion to this album)

1. Big d and the kids table -- fluent in stroll
The. Best. Record. I’ve. Heard. In. Years. I haven’t heard anything this good sense the devil and god are raging inside me. I loved their last 2 releases and when I heard bits and pieces of this record before it came out I was disappointed. But the first time I listened to it, I’ll never forget, I was riding in the car, and I just started laughing. This record is the greatest feel-good record of all time. But it has attitude. For a band that was highly liberal, they didn’t just claim victory. No, they wrote a song about how they have a long way to go. Besides that, they wrote some great fictional stories, and they wrote some great relatable music dealing with your cares and your relationship woes/high points. It’s near perfect. Some of the lyrics are a bit dorky, but like early weezer, it doesn’t take away from the record one bit. A spectacular piece of music from top to bottom. (make sure you get the version with the bonus track “don’t ask me”)


Let down of the year

-nofx -- coaster
A band ive never expect a lot from, but have always expected consistancy from, put out a phoned in musical effort. The lyrics are strong, but the melodies and the arrangements are weaker than ever. I guess this is what comes from a band that openly admits that they’ve already made their best music?

-brad paisley -- american Saturday night
My current favortie country artist, this album has some excellent songs but as a whole doesn’t stack up to an album like 5th gear. Not to mention his new liberal stance is one I don’t enjoy swallowing considering the state of our country.


Thoughts on the Rest

-animal collective -- merriweather post pavilion
Any record that comes out in january and is already regarded as “album of the year” makes me very skeptical upon listening. As a matter of fact, I was so skeptical I put off listening for some time. It is a good record though. I’ve just never loved the band or their style, and the same goes for this record. I enjoy it but I don’t love it. Fact of the matter, with 11 months of music to come, you can’t say “this is as good as it gets.” Words don’t taste good when you have to eat them.

-the bouncing souls -- 20th anniversary
Released on 4 7”s, it just doesn’t have the heart the old music had. Flat out. Good songs, but the fire isn’t there.

-foo fighters -- greatest hits
I’ve previously owned all the past foo releases, so the only thing new to me were the two new songs “wheels” and “word forward” but both these songs are in my top songs of the year. They are really amazing and seeing them on storytellers and hearing their meanings just made them that much more powerful for me. Two of my favorite foo songs. Unfortunately the tracklisting for this “greatest hits” record is truly lacking some of their best stuff.

-jeffrey lewis -- city and eastern TAPES
Technically I think this album came out in 2008 but he was my favorite discovery of the year. Just some shmuck with an acoustic guitar covered in stickers who opened for akron/family. And I almost missed him, cause me and the girl I was with almost left to go back to my place to drink before the show. SO glad I stayed. The guy captivated me, incredibly unique. And this album is so low-fi, its really special. The 08 thing is the only reason its not high in my top 10

-rancid -- let the dominoes fall
Not their best, not their worst. Fits right in with the thick of their catalog. I give them credit for going for it, but the lack of lars songs and tim’s new desire to frontman really holds this record back. The acoustic side is a nice touch.

-robbers -- flesh
Vin Accardi from brand new’s brother’s band. I started listening to them before this ep was released and I picked it up at their show. I liked ‘em as soon as I heard them, and they have a really cool sound. Good stuff here.

-them crooked vultures -- them crooked vultures
I loved the first single. I had heard the album described as a proper follow up to the first queens of the stone age record and I couldn’t agree more. Unfortunately I feel the same way I do about this as the first queens record. I like it but I can’t love it. It’s too jam-heavy and not enough feeling for me. Still a good release though. In my book, Dave Grohl can do no wrong.




Best of Shows

I started off the year attending my first two ever stand-up comedy shows by two of my favorite comedians (yeah, I like ron white, fuck off.) and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Both guys exceeded my expectations by a mile.

next highlight/lowwwwlight came brand new and rise against. I was pumped for this show. brand new was supposed to headline, they were going to shred, they had been recording a new album and no one knew anything about it, my expectations were outta control. rise against was announced as the headliner after the show had almost sold out, and brand new was bumped to support. huge let down. UB realized their mistakes though I think when half the crowd left before rise against. and for the record, rise against is the worst live band I ever saw.

manchester orchestra and the bouncing souls came within a few days of each other. I almost didn’t go to the manchester show and I’m glad I did. they didn’t disappoint one bit. the bouncing souls however, played a pretty short set and I was expecting more.

seeing Kevin Devine playing with the god damn band for the first time sense the brand new tour was a treat. they were spot on, they were funny, and like always, kevin blew my mind. how a guy can be that nice and that caring and that intelligent blows my mind. He’s a huge inspiration.

my day spent in cleveland was a musical experience. it was originally just going to be brand new playing in a bar. that alone was enough to make me beyond pumped. but then robbers were going to be the opener. excellent. wait? warped tour is the same day? Big d is on warped? oh my god. and NONE of it disappointed. brand new played an insane set, robbers were great, and big d….oh man…..awesome. for only playing a half hour warped set, they still were the best of the day. only regret is having to leave warped early and missing flogging molly and nofx.

rise against sucks, rancid are still legends.

Blink-182? oh yeah, they got back together. And they toured with fucking Weezer! me and two of my friends had promised we would never miss them if they got back together….so we went and saw them twice. We had to, weezer was playing with them on the second date. The first date was a day to get fucked up and enjoy life from the grass. The second date was a trip. Floor seats, overnight hotel, dehydration, no working gps, a stolen shoe……but both shows were incredible. Weezer was epic and blink were all we had ever hoped for.

akron/family are a magical experience. They were the coolest guys to talk to, and discovering jeffrey lewis and the junkyard was a huge plus. The show was just a huge jam session and I enjoyed it, I wish they had played a few more songs however. Only problem is this is a memory that hurts to relive because of who I attended the show with.

mad caddies, lowest attended show of theirs in a decade. Oh well, I had fun, and it was a perfect warm-up for the shows that came that weekend.

big d and the kids table not only had my album of the year, but my concert of the year. Ill Scarlett opened, and I hadnt heard them before but one of my friends assured me I would love them. They were good. Not going to lie. Big d though…..oh my god. I could not have asked for anything more. They played the perfect set. All the best off their new album and enough classics to make it beyond special.

toronto is always the place to go see brand new. I will not miss a chance to see them there unless I absolutely have to. So they were playing two nights back to back. I got tickets to both nights, but that reason I can’t enjoy akron/family is the reason this show kinda sucked. I missed the second night cause I no longer had anyone to go with. The first night they played a generic set (because the second night they were going to unload). I hoped for more in rochester, unfortunately I was let down. It was the same show as in toronto. Now I’ve seen brand new a lot, and they’ve never played the same show twice prior to these two dates. I was unlucky, I missed the sick show do to an unfortunate situation. But oh well, thus is life. I saw them play a one-of-a-kind show earlier in the summer.


Oddest Thing of the Year

Andrew W.K. is a fraud? He’s a corporate creation that has had various actors? What the fuck.


Needless to say, I look forward to this coming february when he’ll set the record straight.

The new year will be interesting. New against me! is coming, this is their last chance to redeem themselves in my eyes (especially after kicking out warren). alk3 has a new one on the way. Warped tour will be a unique experience. Hopefully my music career will find itself. Other new promising releases will surely appear, and I’m looking forward to it. When the music hits, aren’t you supposed to feel no pain?


--jc

reflections on the 2009 christmas season.

i feel our nation as a whole took a step in a right direction looking back on this christmas season. this is a step in a direction i never thought it would head back down so all in all i'm very happy with the way the holiday season has handled itself this year.

over the past few years christmas has entirely lost touch with what it has always supposed to stand for. peace and good will towards men have slowly gone out the window in my conscious life time and this is truly a sad sad thing. i've been growing upset with it and my holiday "cheer" has decreased steadily each year. last year was the worst. 3 people dead on black friday. wow. wheres the good will towards men? you want a toy or a sale that fucking bad that you are going to strip someone of their life to get it. a man was trampled by shoppers trying to get into a wal-mart to get the deal and two people shot each other at toys r us. wow. this was on top of my growing disgust towards the ever-lengthening christmas season. christmas music was on well before thanksgiving, and the grinch and rudolph both aired on television well before the thanksgiving holiday.

now come on. thanksgiving is a very important holiday. to me, it is the most important moral holiday all together. giving thanks for what you have in your life regardless of who's better off. it's about being happy and not worrying about material goods. and this country just said "nope. christmas."

this year, things were better though. i was happy to see, and very surprised, that nobody died on black friday this year. i was willing to bet the number would be between 2-4 people. and what more? no christmas specials prior to thanksgiving. and, like every year i emailed the radio station who's the "official home for the holidays" and i received a response from the director of programming, which you can read a few posts down.

christmas took a turn away from the commercially violent this year and was able to stand up for it's bullshit. i met some very nice people at work who were all about the season, i shared a lot of good times with family members. i felt the way you should feel on christmas. unfortunately the week of christmas i had an issue with a friend and on christmas day i came down with a terrible illness i am still recovering from. these two things aside, i am happy with the way this country and this area handled themselves the past month and a half and i hope they continue to take the right steps next year.



happy new year everyone.
jc.


currently listening to:
noah the whale -- first days of spring
lots and lots and lots of kevin devine with some splashes of country

time.

brand new once said "one week is a long time. one month is a long time. one year is a long time. god damn time takes its damn time."

but brand new also wrote daisy. so not everything they say is gospel.

time is an interesting phenomenon and people react to it in odd ways. people are always wishing for a different day. "i can't wait till summer!" is a common one. but take that right now. in the bottom half of fall. if you can't wait till summer and you are constantly looking forward to it, you are just letting your life cruise by. you aren't living for anything in the time frame you are in, you are constantly looking forward to the future instead of looking down at your feet in the day you are in. i mean, who knows, maybe something great might happen today? doubtful. but who knows?

i'm the exact opposite. i live in the past. always saying "man that was the best" or "i wish i could relive this day with that person." where is that getting me besides down the long road of sad and lonely? cause if you spend all your time looking back at great memories you once had, all you're doing is keeping yourself attached to things that are no longer attainable. i mean, you can try and relive them, but without the perfect circumstances it's damn near impossible to do so.

so what's the moral of the story? i hope it isn't something cliche like "live for the moment" but maybe it is? maybe we should be happy with the past but not dwell on it. maybe we should look forward to what's coming next but not rush it. maybe we should just try our damnedest to be happy. and i know i'm one to talk...i'm a miserable prat 75% of the time. but hey.


i'll leave you with some excerpts from david mcwane's "the gypsy mile"

The Boy, A Pretty Girl, and The Devil
"now laugh and tell him to go away."
whispered the Devil in the pretty girl's ear.
And she did.
"she has changed so much."
thought the boy as he walked back to his desk.

52 Cents
i dont always give the homeless man change.
Maybe that's how God works.

currently listening to: i dont want to let you go -- weezer

the response i received from WTSS 102.5 regarding christmas music

i am a firm believer that Thanksgiving is one of the most important and meaningful holidays in the American calendar, and i absolutely hate the idea that the Christmas season gets longer and longer every year. so that being said, each year i email star 102.5, "buffalo's home for the holidays" once they switch to their all-Christmas music programming (it always happens at least a week prior to Thanksgiving). much to my disbelief, this year i actually received a response. so here it is, in its entirety:

___________________________________________

Hey Justin,



Thank you for your email. Frankly, I agree with you. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t listen to Christmas music until December. However, it is my job as program director to do what the majority of my station’s listeners want. My job, and the jobs of my employees depend on it. Believe it or not, I got almost 100 emails asking us to switch earlier than November 16th, and they started coming before Halloween!



Our ratings typically double from late-November through Christmas, and many of the listeners we gain by switching to Christmas stick with us after the holidays, thereby ensuring people’s jobs in the coming year. No one is paying us to play Christmas music early - we’re just trying to survive in a tough economy like everyone else.



But I do understand and respect your feelings, and I thank you for taking the time to write.



Thanks for listening to Star 102.5.



Brian

__________________________

___________________________________________________

when it comes down to it, i cant blame Brian. you have to do what sells, thus is the way of the world. i just feel as if the true meaning of this holiday has been lost. but that gets me thinking what the true meaning is.

id like to think its that great monologue Linus has in the peanuts christmas special, but the history of the holiday says different. it was once a festival of drunks, which is kind of a sketch thing, but it was to celebrate a good harvest, so i suppose it was to bring good will towards men. either way, it DEFINITELY wasn't 'lets milk every dollar out of every shopper that we can'

people have lost touch with this holiday and it sadness me. i don't care that Jesus was actually born in summer, because Christmas's routes are not solely based in Christianity. i just wish that it hadn't become so damn commercial, and i wish the season didn't get longer every year.

but hats off to Brian for at least taking the time to give me a response.


happy thanksgiving everyone.

the only memory i have of my parents being happy.

it struck me today as i was walking home from the bar. i stepped on a particularly crunchy leaf and it all came back to me. i had forgotten about it for quiet some time.....long enough that ive been saying for a while now that i have no memories of my parents being happy.

i was raking leaves with my dad in the backyard under the big tree that stands next to where the pool is now. of course, it wasnt there back then, my dad didnt have the money he has now. we raked everything into a massive pile, the biggest i had ever seen. and we stood there and we admired it. of course, i didnt do any raking, i pretended to, cause, like that rodney atkins song 'watching you,' i just wanted to admire my dad, thats what kids do. and one of us, i cant remember who, suddenly decides 'oh no, mom might be home soon, lets hide!'

so of course, we have this big pile of leaves. why not put it to use? thats where we're hiding. i remember i got in first, and i asked my dad if he could see me. of course he said no, and then he went up to the house to write my mom a note that we're in the backyard and to come find us.

my dad gets in the pile of leaves too, and i ask if hes totally hidden too and of course he says yes. was he? who knows. he might have just been doing that 'dad' thing and saying yes, knowing my mom would do that 'mom' thing and pretend she cant see him. but that doesnt matter, i was little and i believed him. mom came home, played dumb, we jumped out and scared her. there was a good laugh between all 3 of us, and then the rest of this memory fades off into the abiss. but i feel its important that this came back to me. im on the verge of tears just writing this down, i feel that the lack of these memories contributes so much to who i am.

but maybe this memory, seeing it was still etched away in my mind, is the reason i like fall so much. i mean, ive had a lot of awful....and i mean awful...things happen to me in the past few weeks and ive been pretty upbeat. ive been able to handle them well and-minus one night-ive taken everything in stride. these are things that would have, say last winter or during the early august mind-loss's ive had the past few years, driven me crazy and broke me down. maybe the reason i havent is because of this memory, because of a memory of everything being ok and happy and fun. and im sure the prospect of the new school year and football season and all those things adds to it, but i cant help but feel like that memory has so much to do with how im always upbeat this time of year.

and maybe thats why i cant let a relationship go. because of my parents. because i dont want what happened to them to happen to me. i dont want anyone to be left without any memories of happiness. but this is a double edged sword, because if i want that, when im trying to get over somebody or something, the happy memories always come in and break me down and i want them all over again.

i mean, i dont want to blame my parents-or anybody-for how down i get or how crazy my head is....but i just cant help but think that this kind of thing has so much to do with it.

--jc.
currently reading: the gipsy mile (david mcwane)
currently listening: pinkerton (weezer) brothers blood (kevin devine)

daisy.

ive never been one who appreciates 'reviews' of music. i would much rather form my own opinion instead of base it off somebody elses or use theirs as a guide. but ive never anticipated an album before like this one, and i'm about to embark on my own hypocritical journey and share my thoughts on daisy

i went into this record not knowing what to expect. i hated and i loved each new bit of music and information that came along about this project, i loved the band and i hated their seemingly lack of caring. my emotions were all over the place. i knew one thing was for certain though. the devil and god are raging inside me was the greatest record i had ever heard and i latched onto it. it meant so much to me and portrayed so many emotions i could relate to. the odds daisy would do the same were slim, but if it did, i would be astonished. i mean, what are the odds a band could write two near-perfect records?

apparently very slim. this record is not the brilliance that was their last release. in fact, its the first record of theirs i think to ever hold any filler (when your favorite weapon came out, i saw no filler, looking back, my opinion might be different, but this is the first time ive listened to one of their records and said 'that song is a waste'). the production is all over the place, sometimes it sounds brilliant, sometimes it sounds muddled and moodless. the brilliance that was the last record was the production complimented the mood spectacularly.

this record is like kenny powers after he got his pitch back. motherfucker could pitch, but he wasnt as great he was. this record has some great tracks and some great moments, but fails to reach its expectations. early on, they said they were writing this record to be something they would enjoy playing live. i see that completely. you can hear them live when you listen to this record, you know what it looks like, you know how they are acting. and thats excellent. but live brand new isnt studio brand new. the two have completely different charms. and im still not sure if they should be mixed.

the records begin and end on an interesting idea that is riddled in mediocrity. its a great idea, the song fits well, but the transitions are sloppy both at front and back. yeah the front one is made to be startling, but after one listen, the effect is gone. a cleaner transition would just make more sense. but i digress, let us begin:


vices. (4.5/5)
this is a brand new song unlike any other. or its a refused song. it depends on which band you think you're listening to. but the refused were rad and this song is a kick in the teeth. its the most energetic opener theyve had and its definitely one of the best (its tough to rank it ahead of tautou, it may be a tie in my book). i dont usually like screaming in this sense, but it fits well and the lyrics are decent. i would say its the best bass part garrett had put out, except jesse wrote the bass line. only downfalls on this song are the iffy transition from intro to song, and the screaming can get overbearing.

bed. (4.5/5)
one of my favorites on the record after my first listen. you hear the live feel on this song. vin's parts are very clearly defined if you know his playing style, and its a great listen. again, i feel the lyrics are pretty decent, but the biggest flaw of the song comes after the bridge with the line 'i dont ever wanna go to bed,' it just sounds forced. but 'lie to all your friends' is the 2nd most standout phrase on the record

at the bottom. (3.5/5)
the intro to this song is the best part about it. the lyrics are cringe-worthy. 'id serve you drugs on a silver plate' may be the worst this band has ever recorded (or at least tied with 'this isnt highschool') the bridge suffers as well, it trys to be epic and falls on its face. usually what happens with effected drum kits. the lines in the prechorus are exceptional though. i can really relate to 'some men die under the mountain just looking for gold, others die looking for a hand to hold'

gasoline. (4/5)
everyone had a different opinion on this song. some loved the version from neumos, some hated it. and it seems like those people had the exact opposite feelings for the full band version. this version meets my feelings somewhere in the middle. the drums are nowhere near as obnoxious as the early live versions, but mr accardi's screeching guitar parts are not present. the song is solid none the less, and i was excited to hear it on record, i was only mildly disappointed

you stole. (5/5)
best song on the record. by far. the only song on this record that can touch anything on the previous release, the lyrics are poignant and strike a chord, the mood is set excellently, and the musicianship is enough to keep me interested.

be gone. (3/5)
the album is going smoothly to this point, but here it trips and falls. i understand the efforts here but it doesnt work. its a decent idea to add an interlude such as this to an album of this kind, but it is just embarrassing to listen to. they could have done much more with this.

sink. (3/5)
filler. this song is incredibly medio-core. it's a throw-away song. you can sum up the entire sound of the album with this song except for the fact that this song is bland. it feels uninspired and was written on a whim. maybe a backstory could prove this song to be more interesting, but for now, its the worst on the record.

bought a bride. (4/5)
what happened to this song? the phaser in the intro is obnoxious and the production is muddy. why add the effects to the intro if you have never used it live? why not make the two consistant? it sounds bad flat out. and this is another song i prefered the neumos version, much like gasoline, the vocals were much stronger on that version. the screaming doesnt serve this song as well as it does vices.

daisy. (4/5)
drum machines and effected drums sound bad 95% of the time. the only exception i can think of is the no seatbelt song. daisy is no different. and there is nothing more obnoxious in lyrics (to me at least) than making comparisons with just "im a ______" theres so much more to a metaphor or comparison if you are describing a situation instead of flat out laying something out there like this song. the sampling and ambient noise after the first verse is a nice touch, but the voice of the little boy is something that falls flat on its face. the song does pick up with the last line of the 2nd verse and sets the album up to end on a good note.

in a jar. (4.5/5)
this is what sink could have been but isnt. everything comes together for this song, the bassline is great, the lyrics set you up for a good amount of thought, and the sampling break works much better on this song than daisy. one of the highlights of a second half that is in desperate need of a spark.

noro. (4.75/5)
only one thing sets this song back from being the best song on the record. and thats stealing a riff from a song off your own record. when the bass comes in, sound familiar to anyone? its the same riff from untitled! you cant hear so much on the untitled recording but its definitely there, and if you saw it live, that riff was pretty upfront. why? why do you have to do that to an otherwise perfect song? the lyrics are spectacular, the 'im on my way' line is the standout vocal line of this record. and the addition of the unique vocals that echoe them is great(sound as if mr accardi may have jumped in the booth for a first time?). this song is great, but as a closer its hard to rank amongst the others, as its the only non-acoustic. the ending is mildly ubrupt but its nothing to dwell on.


in conclusion.
its nice to see garrett's playing has finally reached the level of the rest of the band, i always felt he failed to make the jump the rest did on the last record. the live feel is a nice touch but the production leaves a muddy feel to a lot of this record. the mood isnt as well defined as the devil and god and it just leaves a little bit to be desired. all in all though, this record was solid. i will agree with a review i read that said this record is their first good...not great...record. the other 3 did so much for my tastes and the genres they fit themselves into. i just dont see daisy doing that.

names.

if one grew up respecting somebody as an elder and a teacher, but, once you've grown up and are no longer being taught by this person and have become friends, how does one know when to stop calling this person 'mr. whoever' or 'coach whoever' and call them by their name. i mean, occasionaly you may have called this person by their first name, and it was no big deal, but most of the time they were mister or coach....how does one know when its time to ditch those formalities?

its odd

bumper stickers and gas prices.

its nice to see gas prices may have maxed out for the summer (not holding my breathe though) without us having to hit the 4 dollar, or even the 3 dollar mark this year. but when gas prices were going back up i got pretty frustrated. not with the fact that they were going up, everyone knew that would happen, but how they would all uniformally go up. every gas station went up at the same time.

now its hard to think back all the way to when hurricane katrina hit, but when that was coming through, and it took out some of the oil refinerys in florida, gas prices didnt go up uniformally. instead one station would sky rocket, then another, then another. it would happen as each gas station ran out of gas and needed to get new gas shipped in. the new gas, obviously, was much more expensive.

so heres what i dont understand. why do gas prices go up uniformally now? no one is getting new gas, they are just raising their prices. this might be so they can cover their asses when it comes time to buy the more expensive gas, but.......i doubt it. cause, during the big gas crisis last year...record profits. its just all bullshit and its bad for you.

now ive been noticing something lately that i love and hate all at the same time. thats bumper stickers. people are so idiotic when it comes to bumper stickers. case in point, the old calvin pissing on things sticker. when i was a kid i loved those cause i loved calvin and hobbes. now they're just dumb though. no longer are they witty and offensive, they're just stupid. they dont even show anything anymore. hes standing there pissing, like hes been doing from the begginning of time, but instead of a picture, theres just a word or phrase like 'al qaeda' or 'ex wife.' so...umm...what are you saying? thats just flat out not creative, and if you have that on your car you should have some respect for yourself and take it off.

christ, if you just wrote 'i hate my ex wife' on a blank sticker with a sharpie and threw it on there i think you'd be saying more.

bumper stickers have also led people to be very arrogant. case in point: this.

we get it man. you fucking hunt. congradulations. do you need to have basically the exact same sticker 6 different times? no. its just overwhelming and obnoxious to look at. the only thing worse is those pictures that take up the entire back window. its just unneccessary, show-offy in the most idiotic way, and over the top. people dont need that many stickers that all basically say 'hey everyone, i hunt'

and it might be hard to see, but in the bottom right corner of the window....there it is, a palin/mccain sticker. im glad this guy isnt giving up the good fight, even though its not getting anywhere. what are you trying to say by leaving that sticker on your car? tough break, we'll get 'em next time? i just dont understand any of it.

but theres worse when it comes to political bumper stickers. like this one.


why? hilary clinton? not even 'for president' cause then the argument above would hold true. but 're-elect'? how warped are your political views that you want to re-elect that witch. but if you really do want to keep her in office, say those words in the solice of your own home, so you dont have to tarnish the eyes of the rest of the world.

thats almost as bad as it gets i think. unless you still are rocking your 'obama for change' bumper sticker. and yeah, people still have those. obviously they havent watched the news sense the election. cause boy oh boy has there been SO much change, and all for the good of man kind too....

its just so frustrating seeing this shit, at least for me. and one more question. sense when is obesity a handicap? do those people really need to park closer to the grocery store? do we need to not only have people be over-weight, but lazy as well?

just some things people do...........blow my mind.


currently listening to:
fluent in stroll. best record ive heard in a long time.

alcohol.

well this will probably end up very long and if you make it to the end of it, i appreciate it

its sad, a few days ago i was convinced i was finally getting back to my normal self after my winter-recess breakdown haha

alcohol has always been an issue with me. back when i was younger i hated it, i truley thought it was evil and i was this way up until a couple years ago. and i dont know what caused it, whether it be me just gorwing up and going through the phase most kids do, or my constant pretending that i have thicker skin than i actually do and starting to drink just to not be an outsider, or whatever. ive drank rather heavily the past 2 years, the past 7 months especially.

i still have never done a single drug and that im proud of. but ive been close, ive really considered. ive been offered to smoke many times, i lived next to a dealer last year, ive had aderole held up to me in a tube to snort, hell i even had a line of coke in front of my face in the backseat of a car whos driver i had never met before. shit's bad and im glad i never caved.
but alcohol over the past few days has got my head spinning. is it worth it? how many bad things have come from it in most peoples lives compared to the amount of good things? are the good things really that great either? you have fun, and sometimes dont even remember having fun. you can do that without alcohol (or at least i hope you can)

but theres two kinds of mistakes you can make, near mistakes and actual mistakes. near mistakes being somebody stopped you or was looking out for you so you didnt do something like have sex with somebody for a bottle of alcohol, or beat somebody up in your driveway cause he trashed your house which would lead to a lawsuite. that shit is a good bad, cause you avoided shit hitting the fan

but lets look at it this way

maybe when you were young you couldnt handle your liquor and ended up face first in a ditch
and maybe that new years you ended up having yoru friend carry you out of a basement cause you couldnt walk
and then maybe that 4th of july you drank so much at that same friend's band's show that you had to go to the hospital
or maybe one of your first times drinking you ended up hiding in a closet in a bathing suite cause the cops broke up the party and you didnt wanna get caught
and maybe your friend did get caught but her older sister got away
and maybe another night years down the road she got really drunk and had sex with somebody who meant nothing to her
or maybe that guy who fucked her thought it didnt matter, it was a spur of the moment thing, even though he knew one of his close friends really cared about her
so maybe he tells his friend one night when hes drinking too much cause hes depressed about her
so maybe that idiot flips out and drives home drunk and almost dies during the process
and maybe that girl tells him he shouldnt drink so much cause she doesnt like how he is when he drinks, but he keeps drinking anyways
and maybe he doesnt stop for 35 days.

or maybe one day you got fucked up and decided to start trashing somebodys house.
maybe you thought it was funny so you made a habit of it.
maybe one night you were out of control and your friend tried to stop you.
and maybe that friend was too drunk that he just joined in, and broke his knuckle punching a fridge.
and maybe the owner of the fridge thinks its funny.
so maybe one night he broke the window of his best friend's apartment and blamed it on somebody else, only sacking up to it later on.
and then maybe he went back to the fridge guy's house last night and decided itd be funny to wreck his house.
but maybe the kid caught you midway so you flipped out and punched a hole in the wall.

maybe you dont know where your life is going so you drink to get away from it.
and maybe you drink too much that you find yourself in the living room of your boyfriends house crying and asking why he hates you cause youre too drunk to reason with
and maybe your boyfriend flips out one night cause you did the responsible thing and didnt want to drink and drive to pick him up at the bowling alley
so maybe a few days later he doesnt know what do aobut her so just drinks nonstop and ends up just driving around buffalo?

or maybe you were helping friends who were at the bar and couldnt drive, and you went to pick them up
and maybe they bought you a drink and on the way home you got a dwi for trying to be the nice guy

or maybe you ruined fathers day cause you drank too much of his liquor and his house was wrecked and he had to clean it up
but maybe he had it coming to him deep down cause he was a nasty drunk for years
and maybe at one point he would get so drunk him and his wife would fight so bad he'd push her down the stairs or the cops would come.
and maybe they got divorced and it fucked his son up for the rest of his life?

wheres the good in any of that?

it makes me want to consider never drinking again. will this happen though? probably not. i like it too much, its become a good way to escape my problems. it can be an immaculate stimulant or a terrifying depressant

i dont know, its food for thought, but so many things can go wrong it just doesnt seem worth it.

case in point--limousine (ms rebridge) katey flynn.

i told you it'd end up long. holy shit.if you made it till the end, thanks for reading
jc

currently listening to: the devil and god are raging inside me and praying for a new albumand pinkerton

kids these days.....

so yesterday at work i was standing within earshot of this grandma and her grandson. he was a little guy, probably 5 or 6, still sitting in the kids race-car shopping carts we have. he goes to his grandma 'grandma...i love you' just out of nowhere.

if i was that grandma i would have felt like a million bucks.

for that brief moment i thought 'you know, fuck what my parents have done to me with their divorce, maybe having kids would really be a great thing'

and then the kid said 'after we're done can we go to toys r us?' and the grandma said 'i dont know, maybe.' and then the kid said 'grandma, can we get ice cream....'

spoiled fuckin kids these days.


currently listening to: keep ringing your bell by kdev. that song....wow. kicks my ass.

the philosophy of time travel

more on sdarko

WOW. something just came to me while i was trying to go to sleep. i retract everything i said.

this movie is based on lies. HOW DOES SAMANTHA HAVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF TIME TRAVEL? donnie never recieved that book outside of the tangent universe!!! not to mention, according to the newspaper clippings from the website for the first film, the family moved shortly after the first film, so she would have never even had the chance to have dr monotauff as a teacher.

fuck, that pisses me off.


currently listening to: foofighters skinandbones
thanks for reading, watch this movie if you want but i no longer recommend giving it a chance, jc.

samantha darko

well im going to try and make sense of this movie via the internet right now for everyone here to see, if you'll be that upset, therell probably be some 'spoilers' in here

many people have been very unfair in their harsh words for this movie, it is not a bad movie at all. BUT it is not a great movie either. i would considerate moderatly good. now i went into this movie wanting to hate it, after 4 minutes i hated it, when that damn unicorn ran through the clowds in sam's mind i wanted to punch my computer screen. but i kept watching. and it grew on me

there were some awful parts besides that one as well, the scene where they were in the movie theatre was really corny, the way memories and images would play on the screen and the lights would dim. that was over the top. but some parts i was impressed with. them not coming out and saying the priest killed the kids was kind of donnie'esque, with the bracelets and what not.

but what didnt put this movie on the level of greatness that is donnie darko is that it was lacking something. some overall cause or motive that would explain why things were happening. what made the first movie so great was that everythign fit together and after you watched it once you were confused but knew the answers were there so you could go and find them. this, the answers arent there. it doesnt explain how sam could time travel, it doesnt explain why she wanted to go home or if she remembered what she did. its not like she had been working on all of this sense donnie died, cause theres a scene where shes trying to comprehend the philosophy of time travel. so somehow things just happened. everything with her, corey (who was gorgeous and i almost fell in love as hard as i did for gretchen), justin, and the boy didnt explain itself well.

another thing that got on my nerves was how donnie's parents were portrayed in this movie. i dont know how they could be seen as assholes who dont care for their kids. i mean rose took sam all the way to cali for that bullshit sparkle motion performance and eddie seemed like the most loving dad you could have. it just got on my nerves in that sense, but i guess a lot can happen in 9 years....

this movie is getting shit cause people want it to be donnie darko and are going into it saying 'it sucks' without giving it a chance. its NOT donnie darko, and it wont end up ever being it. but its a good movie in its own sense. it carries a good story with enough referances to make it a sequel, its just not in the same realm of the original. but, as many people say, the sequel is never as good as the original?

the "n" word

is this meant to be racist? in the words of (ironically enough) chris rock '...not really'

im sick and tired of this fucking word. if i offend anyone, im sorry, but i cant stand it anymore. this word is the single most racist thing in our vocabulary and not from a white perspective. its the other way around. ill be standing in line to get food at school and i cant go two minutes without hearing somebody just saying it as loud as they can. and they use it like its some random ass word, like 'buddy' or 'friend' or 'guy' (not a south park referance, that one is coming later). and its not just black people. no no, any "minority" race can say this word like its the name of their first born. well you know what, i dont like hearing it. at all. so shut the fuck up.

and whats worse is when white people say it, the kind of uproar it causes. how could he? what was he thinking? what a racist asshole. NO. if anyone in the world can say it all day every day in regular conversation except white people then it is not racist. the 'ethnic slur' has been completely taken out of it. now i dont say the word except on rare occasion, i dont like to, if i did i feel id be being hypocritical, but i just dont want to hear it anymore. its the most back-assed word in the english language and the way people take offense to it but then use it like its a fucking pronoun disgusts me. make up your goddamn minds. either hate the word and take offense to it, or dont give a damn. dont do one or the other depending on what's conveniant.

while im just pissed off, when are people going to give up on the obama is god hype? we're 100 days in and barely anything has changed, as far as im concerned things are just as bad if not worse. hell, hes already spent more money than george bush did in 8 years. thats ludacris. and again, the way black people worship him on their t-shirts and pins and flyers is disgusting. listen, we dont have a black president. stop being so racist. hes of mixed decent, hell i dont even think hes half black. so STOP. stop being so fucking racist. hell even south park didnt make him look black! if anything they had it pegged best in the episode after he won, nothing has changed, randy marsh let us all know this.
and another thing, learn your issues! if you want to be proud of him because he has some shared decent then great, but LEARN THE ISSUES. i cant even count how many people ive talked to who love the guy but didnt know anything he stood for in the campaign. its just disgusting.


currently listening to: new manchester orchestra and kdev records
thanks, jc.

something great.

when its raining like mad, and you're driving. and you go underneath a highway or train overpass and the rain stops and everything is calm for about 2 seconds. its so peaceful for that split second in time

why america is(nt) the greatest country in the world

over the easter holiday i had a very thought provoking experience. i spent the weekend in virginia at my uncles house right outside of washington dc. on that saturday, i-against my better judgement-did the tourist thing for the first time in my life. i set out with my cousins and their parents to see the sites of dc

now my cousin had spent the past summer working there, so he knew hte city and wanted to show us the buildings he had worked on. and driving through the city, just looking at the surrondings it came to me why people think america is the greatest place in the world. i understand why people wnat to come here now and i understand why so many of us are high on ourselves. the city was friggin beautiful. it really was. it made buffalo look like baghdad.

this is what people see when they turn on their tvs across the world or pick up a magazine. the skyscrappers were picture perfect, there was construction everywhere with new buildings going up, the architecture was spectacular, the capital building looked even better in person than in pictures. if people were to see this its no wonder they woudl go 'wow, this is the shit right here, this is what i want'

but thats the problem. thats not america. thats part of america, thats the good side. but i guess in a sense this country is like a family, theres always that crazy uncle or the brother nobody talks to, or maybe that cousin went to jail. its not all this perfect picture you see in magazines. theres a lot of problems here, and if you come to buffalo its obvious. but if you only see the good side, then yeah it looks damn good.

so i guess maybe its time to stop criticizing someone for saying this is the greatest place to live, maybe its just time to point out the pros and cons. ive always been confrontational (maybe why some of my friends have been completely unreliable as of late, maybe they're tired of it) but i think its better to throw your ideas out there than keep them to your self...or even worse, not have any of your own at all.

but this whole trip really left me depressed with the state of my life. ive never been anywhere. im 20 years old, have gone on one real vacation and it was back when i was 8 years old. ive gone on these mini trips to virginia, and ive been to boston and that infamous chicago trip, but thats it. i havent seen shit, i have no idea whats out there, and i really want to know. ive been on autopilot for a good 3 months now, maybe longer, and i guess im just tired of it. whats life if your not trying to acheive your goals?

it sure would be nice to have some friends you could count on and rely on though. oh well, hopefully everything will work out one day

currently listening to: akron/family "shoes"

and you laugh so hard, it hurts your sides in pain. as you approach the sun...it rains on everyone

teaching versus parenting

one would think the two go hand in hand. they dont. ive been figuring this out the past month or so.

i coach youth wrestling, and two of the kids are the kids of my favorite teacher i ever had. he's a stand up guy, a really good person, and a teacher that really cares and gets the job done. his kids are not a reflection of him in any way. his kids dont listen to anything, run around like they own the place, and the older one is old enough to be a legit asshole.

i dont understand how someone who is so tough on their kids and expects so much of them in the classroom can have kids that are the exact opposite. is it cause they're not to an age he is used to or is it just that he loves them too much to come down on them?

parenting is just a weird thing in general though, some parents do nothing to regulate what they do and the kid turns out awful, but sometimes the kid turns out fine. sometimes the parents do too much to protect their kid and the kid might turn out to be awful, or, in my case, completely dispise his parents and the attitudes they have towards everything. but i guess i would think the way you treat your students would be much like how you would treat your kids. especially seeing what he does in the classroom works

now i dont have the courage to walk up to him and tell him 'how can you let your kids act like assholes?' but i want to know if he sees it and what his take is on it. ive talked to him about everything thats ever bothered me except for this, and i wish i could. maybe becuase this isnt personal to me, it is to him, and thats what bothers me? i dont know, but i just dont understand how parenting works. i never want to be a parent because of how my parents turned out, not saying i might not, if im truley in love or some bullshit that wont happen cause of how my luck works, but i just dont get it.

as a parent how do you know when to let your kids do certain things? or when the kid moves out, when do they stop having a bedroom in your house? do you take htier shit out? or hope they take it all out and wait till they do? when does it end up in a box in the attic? i mean eddie dirosa's snowboading ramp got taken down, i noticed that today. i dont talk to eddie as much as i wish i did nowadays, but i wonder if he had a say in that or if his parents just felt it was time.

the world is an interesting...and often times terrifying place

currently listening to:
radio-alkaline trio