the "n" word

is this meant to be racist? in the words of (ironically enough) chris rock '...not really'

im sick and tired of this fucking word. if i offend anyone, im sorry, but i cant stand it anymore. this word is the single most racist thing in our vocabulary and not from a white perspective. its the other way around. ill be standing in line to get food at school and i cant go two minutes without hearing somebody just saying it as loud as they can. and they use it like its some random ass word, like 'buddy' or 'friend' or 'guy' (not a south park referance, that one is coming later). and its not just black people. no no, any "minority" race can say this word like its the name of their first born. well you know what, i dont like hearing it. at all. so shut the fuck up.

and whats worse is when white people say it, the kind of uproar it causes. how could he? what was he thinking? what a racist asshole. NO. if anyone in the world can say it all day every day in regular conversation except white people then it is not racist. the 'ethnic slur' has been completely taken out of it. now i dont say the word except on rare occasion, i dont like to, if i did i feel id be being hypocritical, but i just dont want to hear it anymore. its the most back-assed word in the english language and the way people take offense to it but then use it like its a fucking pronoun disgusts me. make up your goddamn minds. either hate the word and take offense to it, or dont give a damn. dont do one or the other depending on what's conveniant.

while im just pissed off, when are people going to give up on the obama is god hype? we're 100 days in and barely anything has changed, as far as im concerned things are just as bad if not worse. hell, hes already spent more money than george bush did in 8 years. thats ludacris. and again, the way black people worship him on their t-shirts and pins and flyers is disgusting. listen, we dont have a black president. stop being so racist. hes of mixed decent, hell i dont even think hes half black. so STOP. stop being so fucking racist. hell even south park didnt make him look black! if anything they had it pegged best in the episode after he won, nothing has changed, randy marsh let us all know this.
and another thing, learn your issues! if you want to be proud of him because he has some shared decent then great, but LEARN THE ISSUES. i cant even count how many people ive talked to who love the guy but didnt know anything he stood for in the campaign. its just disgusting.


currently listening to: new manchester orchestra and kdev records
thanks, jc.

something great.

when its raining like mad, and you're driving. and you go underneath a highway or train overpass and the rain stops and everything is calm for about 2 seconds. its so peaceful for that split second in time

why america is(nt) the greatest country in the world

over the easter holiday i had a very thought provoking experience. i spent the weekend in virginia at my uncles house right outside of washington dc. on that saturday, i-against my better judgement-did the tourist thing for the first time in my life. i set out with my cousins and their parents to see the sites of dc

now my cousin had spent the past summer working there, so he knew hte city and wanted to show us the buildings he had worked on. and driving through the city, just looking at the surrondings it came to me why people think america is the greatest place in the world. i understand why people wnat to come here now and i understand why so many of us are high on ourselves. the city was friggin beautiful. it really was. it made buffalo look like baghdad.

this is what people see when they turn on their tvs across the world or pick up a magazine. the skyscrappers were picture perfect, there was construction everywhere with new buildings going up, the architecture was spectacular, the capital building looked even better in person than in pictures. if people were to see this its no wonder they woudl go 'wow, this is the shit right here, this is what i want'

but thats the problem. thats not america. thats part of america, thats the good side. but i guess in a sense this country is like a family, theres always that crazy uncle or the brother nobody talks to, or maybe that cousin went to jail. its not all this perfect picture you see in magazines. theres a lot of problems here, and if you come to buffalo its obvious. but if you only see the good side, then yeah it looks damn good.

so i guess maybe its time to stop criticizing someone for saying this is the greatest place to live, maybe its just time to point out the pros and cons. ive always been confrontational (maybe why some of my friends have been completely unreliable as of late, maybe they're tired of it) but i think its better to throw your ideas out there than keep them to your self...or even worse, not have any of your own at all.

but this whole trip really left me depressed with the state of my life. ive never been anywhere. im 20 years old, have gone on one real vacation and it was back when i was 8 years old. ive gone on these mini trips to virginia, and ive been to boston and that infamous chicago trip, but thats it. i havent seen shit, i have no idea whats out there, and i really want to know. ive been on autopilot for a good 3 months now, maybe longer, and i guess im just tired of it. whats life if your not trying to acheive your goals?

it sure would be nice to have some friends you could count on and rely on though. oh well, hopefully everything will work out one day

currently listening to: akron/family "shoes"

and you laugh so hard, it hurts your sides in pain. as you approach the sun...it rains on everyone