one would think the two go hand in hand. they dont. ive been figuring this out the past month or so.
i coach youth wrestling, and two of the kids are the kids of my favorite teacher i ever had. he's a stand up guy, a really good person, and a teacher that really cares and gets the job done. his kids are not a reflection of him in any way. his kids dont listen to anything, run around like they own the place, and the older one is old enough to be a legit asshole.
i dont understand how someone who is so tough on their kids and expects so much of them in the classroom can have kids that are the exact opposite. is it cause they're not to an age he is used to or is it just that he loves them too much to come down on them?
parenting is just a weird thing in general though, some parents do nothing to regulate what they do and the kid turns out awful, but sometimes the kid turns out fine. sometimes the parents do too much to protect their kid and the kid might turn out to be awful, or, in my case, completely dispise his parents and the attitudes they have towards everything. but i guess i would think the way you treat your students would be much like how you would treat your kids. especially seeing what he does in the classroom works
now i dont have the courage to walk up to him and tell him 'how can you let your kids act like assholes?' but i want to know if he sees it and what his take is on it. ive talked to him about everything thats ever bothered me except for this, and i wish i could. maybe becuase this isnt personal to me, it is to him, and thats what bothers me? i dont know, but i just dont understand how parenting works. i never want to be a parent because of how my parents turned out, not saying i might not, if im truley in love or some bullshit that wont happen cause of how my luck works, but i just dont get it.
as a parent how do you know when to let your kids do certain things? or when the kid moves out, when do they stop having a bedroom in your house? do you take htier shit out? or hope they take it all out and wait till they do? when does it end up in a box in the attic? i mean eddie dirosa's snowboading ramp got taken down, i noticed that today. i dont talk to eddie as much as i wish i did nowadays, but i wonder if he had a say in that or if his parents just felt it was time.
the world is an interesting...and often times terrifying place
currently listening to:
radio-alkaline trio
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
nice guys finish last.
who said theres no truth to cliches?
there really is. in every sense of the statement, nice guys finish last and assholes get ahead. need proof?
the biggest asshole i know treats his girlfriend like shit but she does everything she can to stay with him. meanwhile this asshole treats me like shit whenever he can when ive never done anything to warrant it. hes one of those self proclaimed tough guys, he thinks he's an all american bad ass and thinks he can do whatever he want, so he only treats the people he wants nice and shits on everyone else. but this guy has a girl whos begging to stay with him.
another example. a different girl, one whos very close to my heart, dated an asshole for probably a good 6 months. this guy, at one point prior to them dating, told her he hoped she was pregnant after hearing a rumor about me and her that was completely made up. the guy was a piece of shit, he told her she couldnt tlak to me, just smoked pot all day, was a bro and a tooll by all definition, yet she loved the kid and got mad if i criticized him and would rather be with him than even talk to me.
same girl, different guy, a guy who was a friend of mine, but by every definition a jerk. the guy openly wanted one thing out of girls, all he wanted was to fuck them. i knew him when he was a virgin, i heard about his first time, i heard how he talked to girls, and i hated everything about his approach to girls. he graduates school, starts smoking cigarettes, does every drug he can get his hand on, pretends to be a hobo of all things for attention, doesnt do anything as far as a higher education goes, but somehow manages to take advantage of this girl one night. nice guys finish last, assholes get ahead.
not that im saying thats getting ahead, but its certainly not finishing last. her response was "i wish i didnt happen and i dont like to think about it, im sure he feels the same way." wrong. this is the kind of guy who has notches on his built. yes another cliche but thats how it is.
now ive always tried to be there for this girl and we've had both the best relationship you can have and the worst, but at the moment she hasnt talked to me in a month. but these assholes can get whatever they want out of her.
its sickening
so now comes a story from today. im driving to drop off a letter in regards to my parents going to court tomorrow. im going through the construction on route 5 and i see in the lane going back towards the city a cop has someone pulled over. i know the cop is going to be there on my way back, i gotta make sure i slow down. on my way back, im trying to maintain a legal speed but a guy is right on my ass and hteres people in the other lane going at...what would be the flow of traffic. i cant really slow down. never the less, once i get to where the detour starts, i start slowing down regardless of the asshole tailgating me. but theres the cop. sticks his finger out at me, pulls me over. the guy behind me breaks his fuckin ass off, so the cop cant tell hes tailgating. so again, the asshole gets away fine.
its bullshit the way life works sometimes. it really is. i wish i understood why.
____________________________________________________________
while im ranting, ive had some negative feedback to some of what ive wrote on here. not a lot of people have read it or told me their thoughts on what theyve read and im fine that, but one person in particular i dont even know who they are. i could go on and on and clarify what i meant in the posts that they criticize but im not going to, many of their complaints are in response to things they took or read the wrong way. i try not to ramble too much cause id get lost in my thoughts and these posts would be days long if i did and were to get EXACTLY what i meant across. so i try my best. im not going to say to stop with the feedback, you're more than welcome ot say what you want, and if you dont want me to ever know who you are either, thats fine. im just glad you're taking the time to read and maybe we can open up a dialogue on whats really fucking wrong with this world
thanks for reading.
jc.
there really is. in every sense of the statement, nice guys finish last and assholes get ahead. need proof?
the biggest asshole i know treats his girlfriend like shit but she does everything she can to stay with him. meanwhile this asshole treats me like shit whenever he can when ive never done anything to warrant it. hes one of those self proclaimed tough guys, he thinks he's an all american bad ass and thinks he can do whatever he want, so he only treats the people he wants nice and shits on everyone else. but this guy has a girl whos begging to stay with him.
another example. a different girl, one whos very close to my heart, dated an asshole for probably a good 6 months. this guy, at one point prior to them dating, told her he hoped she was pregnant after hearing a rumor about me and her that was completely made up. the guy was a piece of shit, he told her she couldnt tlak to me, just smoked pot all day, was a bro and a tooll by all definition, yet she loved the kid and got mad if i criticized him and would rather be with him than even talk to me.
same girl, different guy, a guy who was a friend of mine, but by every definition a jerk. the guy openly wanted one thing out of girls, all he wanted was to fuck them. i knew him when he was a virgin, i heard about his first time, i heard how he talked to girls, and i hated everything about his approach to girls. he graduates school, starts smoking cigarettes, does every drug he can get his hand on, pretends to be a hobo of all things for attention, doesnt do anything as far as a higher education goes, but somehow manages to take advantage of this girl one night. nice guys finish last, assholes get ahead.
not that im saying thats getting ahead, but its certainly not finishing last. her response was "i wish i didnt happen and i dont like to think about it, im sure he feels the same way." wrong. this is the kind of guy who has notches on his built. yes another cliche but thats how it is.
now ive always tried to be there for this girl and we've had both the best relationship you can have and the worst, but at the moment she hasnt talked to me in a month. but these assholes can get whatever they want out of her.
its sickening
so now comes a story from today. im driving to drop off a letter in regards to my parents going to court tomorrow. im going through the construction on route 5 and i see in the lane going back towards the city a cop has someone pulled over. i know the cop is going to be there on my way back, i gotta make sure i slow down. on my way back, im trying to maintain a legal speed but a guy is right on my ass and hteres people in the other lane going at...what would be the flow of traffic. i cant really slow down. never the less, once i get to where the detour starts, i start slowing down regardless of the asshole tailgating me. but theres the cop. sticks his finger out at me, pulls me over. the guy behind me breaks his fuckin ass off, so the cop cant tell hes tailgating. so again, the asshole gets away fine.
its bullshit the way life works sometimes. it really is. i wish i understood why.
____________________________________________________________
while im ranting, ive had some negative feedback to some of what ive wrote on here. not a lot of people have read it or told me their thoughts on what theyve read and im fine that, but one person in particular i dont even know who they are. i could go on and on and clarify what i meant in the posts that they criticize but im not going to, many of their complaints are in response to things they took or read the wrong way. i try not to ramble too much cause id get lost in my thoughts and these posts would be days long if i did and were to get EXACTLY what i meant across. so i try my best. im not going to say to stop with the feedback, you're more than welcome ot say what you want, and if you dont want me to ever know who you are either, thats fine. im just glad you're taking the time to read and maybe we can open up a dialogue on whats really fucking wrong with this world
thanks for reading.
jc.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
_____________________________
this picture was taken today, it amazes me that this tree still has this many leaves on it. they were able to withstand 100" of snow fall this winter, ridiculously high winds as recent as yesterday, and the havoc of asshole college students. it had to suck for the leaves. watching all the neighbor trees lose theirs, while at the same time they were drying up, loosing color, and crinkling to all hell, loosing all their use.
it had to get old after a while, seeing everyone they know dying. i mean, i know 2 people who died in the past month and someone whos deathly ill, and that alone is awful. maybe leaves dont have feelings, and maybe i didnt know the 2 people all that well, but it still is an uneasy feeling. i mean tim payne used to sit with me at lunch back in junior high when i was an annoying little fuck who nobody could stand. and maybe in recent days he was the butt of jokes just for the sake of not having seen the kid in forever, but he shouldnt have had to get hit by a car walking home and i dont know how the guy who hit him could live with himself as he drove away. but either way, it sucks when people you know die, especially when they're your age, or in the tree's situation, your neighbors
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
people. good and bad.
its tough for me to figure out how to say everything ive felt about people in the world over the past few months without sounding incoherent and directionless but im going to do my best.
one thing ive learned lately, regardless of how depressing this sounds, i really believe that there are good people out in the world, they're just really tough to find sometimes.
in general people are an awful, wretched species and it's sad that we run the fucking world. this country just seeps with arrogance from all angles and it really bothers me. race is an issue ive always tried to side-step, but, being a country boy, i group up around racism, its how the world works. is it sad? yes it is. but i still firmly believe that there are both good people and scum bags in each race. but why do the people who are the scum bags, especially in minority groups, not give a fuck about the image they're presenting? if you're race is already looked down upon in society, why not work a little harder to try and better that image? why dont people care? people are fine nowadays just slipping into a stereotype and living out their life there. i mean...have some fucking self respect, just cause its expected of you to be ignorant, doesn't mean you have to parade your ignorance around. obama supporters were the perfect example of this, in all cultures, white black green yellow. they sucked his dick. he was jesus during the election. and half of his supporters didnt know a single one of his policies. so when he gets elected people run around like lunatics celebrating how great a day this is. so i stop some of them and ask them about his policies. they dont know. shocking. but then i get mad at them and tell them to act like civilized people. and im told to 'fuck off.' nicely done. way to just slip into a stereotype and be ok with that.
people are just too okay with mediocrity these days. they see it everywhere so why should they expect anything better from themselves? i dont understand it.
people are greedy, arrogant, often times ignorant fucks and it grows harder for me each day to deal with most people. but there are good people in the world. there really is. it doesn't take much to bring a smile to my face either, if somebody holds a door for me when im a few yards from the door on a cold day im thrilled. if i see somebody stop and help somebody pick up a paper or a book they dropped, i think its great. what really made me happy came at the expense of an asshole the other day, which is too bad. a lady 'fell' in the parking lot of home depot the other day and cut her head open. she was parked in a handicapped spot but had no visible handicapp whatsoever which pisses me off so much every time i see it. so shes sitting in the office talking about her head is spinning and blah blah blah, and in walks this guy 'hey im a volunteer medic, somebody's hurt?' the manager asks 'were you called? do you have the truck?' 'no, i just heard so i came right over.' fucking go that guy. good for him. he didnt need to be there, nobody asked him, he volunteered. and thats really great. there needs to be more people who give a fuck and there needs to be more people who work to better this world.
now im going to talk about smoking here for a second. im not going to lecture or anything, but cigarettes to me....blow my fucking mind. i know its close minded to say i think most people who smoke cigarettes are assholes but i think a lot of them are. the difference between the assholes and the 'casual smokers' or the normal good-hearted people who smoke is pretty simple. i think if you're old and smoke then you have the potential to be a great person cause when you started you didnt know better. and if you casually smoke then that's fine too, but people who are addicted to it and do it all the time....fuck you.
theres a few people, one guy im thinking of right now in particular, who are ALWAYS outside of my dorm smoking, they're there litterally 8 out of 10 times i walk in. regardless of the weather. it could be a negative degree day and there they are. is it worth it? you know you're polluting your body, so why not say 'hey the weather sucks, i dont need a cigarette right now, its good for me anyways' have some self respect?! but this one guy...oh this one fucking guy....every time, hes wearing the smae thing, sabres sweatshirt and shorts, again regardless of the weather. and pink headphones like hes trying to make a point. and he always stares at you when you walk in, and always has this grimmace on his face like hes fucking pissed off. the kind of guy who probably thinks he looks cool smoking. i just want to punch him sometimes, dont fuckign stare at me, i dont want you to attract attention to yourself.
it just pisses me off, i wish there werent so many assholes.
one thing ive learned lately, regardless of how depressing this sounds, i really believe that there are good people out in the world, they're just really tough to find sometimes.
in general people are an awful, wretched species and it's sad that we run the fucking world. this country just seeps with arrogance from all angles and it really bothers me. race is an issue ive always tried to side-step, but, being a country boy, i group up around racism, its how the world works. is it sad? yes it is. but i still firmly believe that there are both good people and scum bags in each race. but why do the people who are the scum bags, especially in minority groups, not give a fuck about the image they're presenting? if you're race is already looked down upon in society, why not work a little harder to try and better that image? why dont people care? people are fine nowadays just slipping into a stereotype and living out their life there. i mean...have some fucking self respect, just cause its expected of you to be ignorant, doesn't mean you have to parade your ignorance around. obama supporters were the perfect example of this, in all cultures, white black green yellow. they sucked his dick. he was jesus during the election. and half of his supporters didnt know a single one of his policies. so when he gets elected people run around like lunatics celebrating how great a day this is. so i stop some of them and ask them about his policies. they dont know. shocking. but then i get mad at them and tell them to act like civilized people. and im told to 'fuck off.' nicely done. way to just slip into a stereotype and be ok with that.
people are just too okay with mediocrity these days. they see it everywhere so why should they expect anything better from themselves? i dont understand it.
people are greedy, arrogant, often times ignorant fucks and it grows harder for me each day to deal with most people. but there are good people in the world. there really is. it doesn't take much to bring a smile to my face either, if somebody holds a door for me when im a few yards from the door on a cold day im thrilled. if i see somebody stop and help somebody pick up a paper or a book they dropped, i think its great. what really made me happy came at the expense of an asshole the other day, which is too bad. a lady 'fell' in the parking lot of home depot the other day and cut her head open. she was parked in a handicapped spot but had no visible handicapp whatsoever which pisses me off so much every time i see it. so shes sitting in the office talking about her head is spinning and blah blah blah, and in walks this guy 'hey im a volunteer medic, somebody's hurt?' the manager asks 'were you called? do you have the truck?' 'no, i just heard so i came right over.' fucking go that guy. good for him. he didnt need to be there, nobody asked him, he volunteered. and thats really great. there needs to be more people who give a fuck and there needs to be more people who work to better this world.
now im going to talk about smoking here for a second. im not going to lecture or anything, but cigarettes to me....blow my fucking mind. i know its close minded to say i think most people who smoke cigarettes are assholes but i think a lot of them are. the difference between the assholes and the 'casual smokers' or the normal good-hearted people who smoke is pretty simple. i think if you're old and smoke then you have the potential to be a great person cause when you started you didnt know better. and if you casually smoke then that's fine too, but people who are addicted to it and do it all the time....fuck you.
theres a few people, one guy im thinking of right now in particular, who are ALWAYS outside of my dorm smoking, they're there litterally 8 out of 10 times i walk in. regardless of the weather. it could be a negative degree day and there they are. is it worth it? you know you're polluting your body, so why not say 'hey the weather sucks, i dont need a cigarette right now, its good for me anyways' have some self respect?! but this one guy...oh this one fucking guy....every time, hes wearing the smae thing, sabres sweatshirt and shorts, again regardless of the weather. and pink headphones like hes trying to make a point. and he always stares at you when you walk in, and always has this grimmace on his face like hes fucking pissed off. the kind of guy who probably thinks he looks cool smoking. i just want to punch him sometimes, dont fuckign stare at me, i dont want you to attract attention to yourself.
it just pisses me off, i wish there werent so many assholes.
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